When work is just work

A perfect capture of my friend Colleen and beautiful little friend of ours on a rest stop over to the zoo

Recently, I got a chance to hang out with three wonderful kids. Their self-control and their ability and willingness to obey were uncanny. They clearly knew where the chocolate stash was, they clearly knew I didn’t know the normal bounds that their parents had set for them, etc. I was also astonished by how fair they played whiffle ball.  They allowed the girls to self-pitch, they allowed their youngest brother to be an all-time batter… they cared to win fair and square, which is a quality not found often these days. Now, if I had gone there simply to babysit, that would literally require me to simply sit while the kids did their own thing. However, what kind of value would I actually be providing? Perhaps I might get paid at the end of this sitting, but whose time did I waste? Theirs or mine?

These days, our society has made it all about convenience. The monstrosity of the grocery store chains pretty much prove that. While there are strides and efforts being made to swing the other direction, our society hasn’t budged all that much from that capitalistic culture. This also means we miss out on some of the great things that happen because we’re focused on being there rather than the getting there. We don’t want to be a added value to everything but just in our self-determined chosen path. This leaves us to do the real job just half done. Do we really think that history changers have only done the job they were required to do? Of course not!

I’m a strong proponent for leaving more than a trace behind. I did indeed have to check my heart to not strive beyond my capacity but if I am able, why not? Why not bring greater value to those around you, all the time? Parents that have young kids are busy all the time. They rarely have time for themselves. However, in this society, we’ve become so individualistic that families have to go on their own or pay people to provide some sort of service. When work is just work, a babysitter will do no more than make sure there is no fighting, no complaining, kids are fed and then in bed. However, when your heart is in the work as Andrew Carnegie puts it, you see the cute little faces that want to just hang out with you, that want to include you in their whiffle ball game, that want to jump with you on the trampoline, that want to tell you stories and equally want to hear your stories. You get to see smiling faces look at you not wanting to go to sleep because they would rather hang out with you.

Often times, even taking a break is more work for parents as their to-do list has not shrunk. However, when your heart is in the work, you realize that the pile of dishes isn’t something you want them to come home to especially if they had an official night off. You realize that your job isn’t about you fulfilling your responsibilities but about what you can bring to the table. Now, babysitting, that’s easy. If you know the basics of hanging out with kids, finding the kid in you, cleaning, cooking, basic housework, you’re good to go. However, when you’re talking about other work, it really requires you to know, “What is your special sauce?” as Leif Hetland puts it. What is it that you can actually bring to the table?

Position of the heart

Have you ever heard people say, “it’s about the heart”? Before I really understood what heart was, I was really annoyed yet slightly intrigued by this. Anatomically, I totally get what the heart is. I even get what it means to trace a heart on construction paper but really, how many people really thought about what it means to put your heart into it. In sports, I knew that meant it needed to be way more than my physical body or my mind because it meant that I was going to get pushed or needed to push myself beyond what I was able to see.

Andrew Carnegie once said, “My heart is in my work”. Have we lost sight of that in our society today? What does it mean or what would it look like for our hearts to be in our work? Who would you say in our history or even in our day today exhibits such a heart in what they do? If you thought of some of the people I did, you might be in tears like I am. It’s absolutely inspiring when someone has that intangible touch. You see it in the Olympians today. You especially see it in the non-profit communities. They believe in what they do so they don’t just pour out their physical abilities. It’s way more than that. There are facets in every one’s life that goes untouched until it needs to be. For example, the sweetest of women will turn into a protective she-bear when she feels that her child is getting threatened. There have also been reports of a woman who literally lifted a car to get her child out from underneath, and no she wasn’t a muscle builder.

So what does it really mean to position your heart? What does it really mean to put your heart into something? Attitudes are often a reflection of your heart condition. In my case, as a Korean, I could say I honored and respected my parents all I want and most outsiders will agree with me based on my behavior. However, just because I did it and well even, doesn’t mean that I did it with the right attitude. My mind was set on obligatory obedience more than honor. The more I learn about honor, the more I realize that honor is all about the position of my heart. Honor says I will treat you not just in who you exhibit you are but who I know you and your potential to be. Acts of honor flow out of that such as obeying and submitting to our authority, confronting those who have done wrong, covering over the mistakes of others, etc.

So there are many things that can only be measured by the position of your heart. Honor is one of those things as previously mentioned. However, another really big one is the difference between excellence and perfectionism. A lot of people can agree perfectionism goes too far but where is the line? What changes when you cross over that line? I’ll use an odd example to show you my perspective. Do you know that moment when you know that one more bite will put you over the top from satisfied to full? That’s how I see these lines. When you are excellent, you are giving it your best but you are so sure you did your best that everything else is beyond your control and you’re able to swing with it. I believe this is why the best improv musicians or artists are the ones that understand technique, tone, rhythm, theory, etc. They are able to adjust quickly because they understand what works and doesn’t work. You’ve been alongside people that were excellent and those who were perfectionist? Who would you rather stand beside? Isn’t there a certainty in being next to one who is excellent and exhibits excellence?

Now there are many lines for many topics. However, if you’re not struggling with the line, you have yet to reach one. You cannot be excellent without occasionally questioning your heart and your motives. Perhaps if you start your day each day setting your heart on excellence that may be a different story but sometimes I don’t really get a chance to do that until I’m doing that very thing that needs that heart check. What would our society look like today if everyone had their heart checked? Wouldn’t people be doing the very thing they love and are completely passionate for and about? Jesus said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). What is your treasure? Where’s your heart?

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23)